The end of the second...

You always hear that the first of year of marriage is always the hardest... It was a doozie but the second was more than a little trying in itself. The truth is, life with people is never easy. Life trying to meet the needs of relationships is "hard work". I laugh at that because it seems that those two words don't do justice to realistic depth of energy that actually goes into it!

It's so easy to put one selfish decision after another creating a web of distraction and destruction. It's so easy to let one hurtful word lead to another and another tearing at the core of the one you've promised to protect with every ounce of your being. It's so very easy to loose sight of why you married each other when we get focused on our own ambitions instead of choosing to see the needs of our partners.

I love my husband.

I know that he loves me.

It isn't perfect. There is much work to be done to heal what's been done and grow into what we have the potential of being.  It is possible though...

We were created to be in a marriage relationship and we are never given more than we are able to deal with. The trick we are learning is the daily choice that is involved in this process of growth. One choice can be the difference between life and death in a marriage. Daily submission to the beautiful God given boundaries and roles that are given in His Word are crucial to growth. 

The second part is the gift and challenge of forgiveness. Every day, we seem to find things that one or the other or both need to seek, receive or extend forgiveness. Whether we choose to seek, receive or extend - well that's a whole other story. But it is our goal.

So today, as he is miles away working on learning a new aspect of his job and I am here listening to the whirring of the dishwasher trying to drown out the song my student sang as I walked down that isle... as I prepare for him to come home soon, I just wanted to take a minute to reflect about us, about that day and about the work HE is faithfully doing in our lives...

I love you Bradley Greene. I always will...

In my 28th year...

In my 28th year, I've experienced a lot of beauty throughout the thorns of life...

Amid the deep grief of loosing what we excitedly thought we were going to be blessed with, I treasured my first wedding anniversary with my best friend. After a year filled with turmoil out of our control we knew we had each other because of His grace in our lives.

I shared incredibly sacred moments with my beloved as I met my beautiful step children Avery and Seth for the first time.

I have had the privilege of teaching numerous young people in my studio and even greater the opportunity to speak into life experiences with them as they find a safe place within the walls where we sing.

I have been apart of and directed musical productions, blessed to have opportunity to put into practise my passion: conducting.

I had the opportunity to attend my very first orchestral performance in Calgary with co-workers and students.

 

I have spent days in the majestic mountain range of our country exploring life and creation with loved ones.

I have celebrated with loved ones at the birth of children, parties for the added year each of us has, and honored my husband as he finished up his final studies passing to become a journeyman welder.

Despite the harshness that comes with loosing jobs, miscarriages, shredded relationships, children too far away and finding out who your real friends are, I know God is faithful and just. His will is not to harm His children but to give us hope and a future.

This past weekend, my dear husband surprised me with a trip to Banff where we were able to be inspired by the creation God has given us to enjoy. As Bradley and I drove through snow filled forests, walked along icy river front trails, and sipped on tasty Christmas flavored coffees to warm our hands, I was reminded this weekend how great His love is for  us in that He gave us even the most simple things to find joy in.

I am inspired.

I long to continue to be inspired in this next year. Looking to Him, who has made every good and perfect gift, for that inspiration in all aspects of my life.

One year...

It has been 1 year already.

1 year since I woke early that morning, cried over silly things getting ready, prayed in Jesus Name that the sun would make an entrance by the time our hour came, turned while my mama put on the necklace he bought for me, held my breath while they tied my dress, sped like crazy people to be only 15 minutes late...

1year since I got out of the truck, fixed my dress, held the arm of my dad and looked up through my veil to see him there waiting for me...

1 year since I walked carefully in my sought out saddle-oxford heels down the grass isle between the bails of hay where many of our loved ones sat shining as they watched. Slowly, row by row, they stood as I passed until they all stood behind us and I stood before him with Dad on one side, Mom on the other and our Heavenly Father beaming down on us through the rays of the sun that made it's entrance just in the nick of time.

I don't remember much of that day but I remember him. I remember our eyes glistening and our cheeks burning from the continuous smiles and giggles shared. I remember hearing his voice and the promises we vowed. I remember the shaking of his hand as the thin, shimmering band was slipped on my finger and how beautiful his hand looked as I put a band of strong metal over his. I remember the cool water on my feet as he knelt before me in an initial act of servanthood. I remember him saying "Husband and Wife" for the first time, his lips touching mine and knowing that he was it and I was glad.

This one year has been the hardest year of my life. We have lost friends and loved ones all while we have gained new ones. We have been scrutinised and accused but He has provided so many more who actually know us to come along side and support, pray and hold us to our word. We have fought hard but have determined to work through. In one year we have been learning to love ourselves through His eyes, we have been learning to fall deeper into love with each other through building our friendship, and most importantly we have been learning what it means to serve Him in loving and serving each other.

I never knew so much could come of 1 year. I never imagined how sweet it would feel to be held in his arms on the eve of our anniversary and remind each other of the words we spoke one year ago.

Bradley,

I love you. Today I choose to stand before you and willingly pledge myself to you under the headship of our Lord and Saviour.

You are my elect. The one that I have prayed for every day of my growing up years . I thank God for you. Not because you are perfect but because you have demonstrated to me what it means to love, to cherish, to challenge, to laugh, to follow, to trust, to grow, to persevere and to serve. You teach me these things not because you are perfect at accomplishing them but because you are not afraid to admit when you haven’t – nor are you afraid to let me know that I too fail at times. Thank you for your strength and for your tender patience.

I pledge today to be with you in all walks of life: To support, respect and honour you, to be faithful to you as unto the Lord, to hold you as you cry and to laugh with you as hard as we can for no reason at all. I choose to come to you when I’m broken and also share with you every joy.

I desire to serve you with my whole heart as we faithfully seek the Fathers will for both our lives together as well as for the lives of our children. Thank you for letting me love you and for letting me love those two precious gifts called Avery and Seth.

I vow to you today to love you even if it means loving imperfectly. To respect your leadership in our home and to come along side of you as we seek the Father’s good and perfect will for our life together. My prayer is that it will be my choice everyday for the rest of our lives on this earth.

Jessica,
I look at you standing here before me in pure amazement that this day has come at last.  I am so thankful to God for you as now the next chapter in our life has now begun in earnest.  Of all the things in my life that I have learned, the few things that have staid with me throughout would be these simple values that I have held dear in my heart and would love to share them with you as they are what binds us together today. 

Loyalty, I will be loyal and faithful to you and only you throughout the rest of my life on earth. Duty,  I will as your husband provide for you, protect you and love you.
Respect, I will listen when you ask me to, be proud of your accomplishments, and heed your advice when you give it
Selfless Service, I will put your needs above my own, thinking of you first and myself second without expectation.
Honor, I will watch my actions, and my thoughts to show you everyday that you are the only woman that I love and adore forever.
Integrity, I will put action into my words to show you that my word is true and to build a trust that cannot be shaken, especially during the trying times.
Personal Courage, I will always be upfront and honest with you, I will not hide anything from you.

These 7 values are what I will strive for, these are what I was required to uphold as a Sergeant in the United States Army.  The 7 values are an acronym, which spells leadership, and as individuals become a team in the army so too you and I go from individuals to becoming a team.  As we become one I want you to know that God will always be at the head of our union.  He will be honoured and glorified everyday, for a house built on the rock will never crumble.  As God is my witness, this I promise to you today.  I love you Jessica.