My little Kidney Bean...

Today, 2 years ago today, we let the wonderful world of Facebook in on our teeny, tiny, kidney bean sized little secret... it's quite hard to believe how the time has passed so quickly!

A baby was something I'd dreamed about, longed for, wanted so desperately in my life. It's pretty safe to say however, God knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that we were not ready in those first years. There was to much hard. We were to hard. Even after trying hard at life and loosing more battles than won and learning to wait however impatiently, that year of being pregnant was still So. Very. Hard.

We've encountered and experienced and incredible amount of strive in those first years. Much self inflicted as most of humanity seems to do. But also a horrific amount saddled on our emotions from the outside. God knew that in and through and on this side of things, that it was okay. That even though there was and still is much to slug through, we know, God knows, that our desire is for peace in our home, reconciliation with those we love and to see that above all, God is honored in this life he's given us.

It's been quite a journey thus far. That little kidney bean that was fearfully and wonderfully knit together in the dark of me, is nothing shy of a miracle for us. Dustin James Bradley... An abundance of joy, it's been an incredible experience being able to love him.

PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW.
PRAISE HIM ALL CREATURES HERE BELOW.
PRAISE HIM ABOVE YE HEAVENLY HOSTS.
PRAISE FATHER, SON, AND HOLY GHOST.
AMEN!

Waiting for the morning...

It's amazing to me how long these northern Alberta nights are. I was out driving last night just spending some much needed time with the Lord and it was so light, so late. 11:45pm and there was still a stripe of pink across that horizon above the hills and trees.

It really is beautiful up here. Absolutely beautiful. And there are even a few lakes. Still not quite like the lakes I swam in as a child but they are there for me to enjoy. The trees and hills and herds of animals everywhere!

Even in the city itself, I'm amazed as I venture out how many parks surround. Manicured beautifully for residents to enjoy. Bored people are boring people I heard once and here, as long as you don't mind your walking shoes there seems to be endless opportunity to enjoy life.

My job is going well. Part time with funny gals to share the few hours a week preparing orders for weddings and other parties. I'm still waiting for my Lia Sophia business to take off up here so I keep my nose to the ground and work hard to promote.

I keep waiting for the morning though...
I've been promised that it will bring Joy...

It's hard to wait out the storms of life. You see I'm not a very patient person it seems. Always thought I was but it's lessened a great deal these past couple years. As beautiful as that glowing pink I see spanning the sky when I should be sleeping I can't help but be thankful for it's beauty while being reminded that the nights can be long sometimes.

I long for the morning, the dawn that brings the joy of the Lord. I know it will come. I have seen the promises of our God over and over so I choose to tell that creeping doubt where to go in Jesus Name!

Resting in His arms, taking one moment at a time, I trust in His promises for us here in this new town He led us too.

When the sun shines...

It's easy to smile when the sun shines... Feel the joy that the brightness brings to a persons heart. 

It's rays cast through that dusty window in our kitchen. As I clean this floor on my hands and knees, when I would rather bask like a cat in the warmth of those rays, I think of you and smile... Your not the mother that was given to me by birth but the one who was my beloveds first and became mine when we said "I do". 

I am thankful for you, you know? We both are. 

We love you, you know? Love that will never end. 

You have sacrificed much in the past years that I have known you and I can imagine in the years before that there was much given and taken away from the only One who has that authority. I have seen your desire change these past months, pure and honest and raw desire, to "Be Still"... how long has that been the phrase He has given you? As long as I can remember. Amazing to me that it is the same verse the Lord gave to me all those years ago when He began to tear down the walls of my heart. 

I know this command He has given you has not easy for you; you who is gifted with a true mothers heart, a heart that longs to take pain away when we both know full well God has to be the healer in some circumstances. There are just times when we have to let go and I am so thankful for your example as you learn and grow even more into a strong woman after Gods own heart. An example for all of us young women who have been placed into your path. 

I am thankful you don't walk perfectly you know, that you are realizing the freedom of not having to have every strand in place... That's the side of you and your beloved that we love best. To know that there is hope for us, that we don't have to have life together all the time. That it's okay to be messy and love imperfectly and allow ourselves to feel Gods grace in spite being undeserving... 

We can't be with you today to celebrate with you but we are thinking of you today. Praying that in this next year, the Lord would continue to bless you with knowing Him better and the beautiful woman you are by His grace. We pray that you might continue to let Him work as you present yourself to His will for your life. You have much to give, He knows that, we know that, and we look forward to seeing how He is going to move in and through you! May you be blessed with the Joy that He longs to restore to your spirit this year! 

Happy Birthday Mom (Marion)...

For I know who I have believed...

In preparing for our Choir concerts which are one week from today, my heart is torn in so many emotions. "Wondrous Love"... will likely be my last musical ministry event on the campus of Prairie Bible Institute.

This place that I came to really know who God is and who I am being molded to be by His hands has been a place that has caused great joy, peace, brokenness (good and bad), healing, and so much more. I never imagined that when I arrived on this campus 11 years ago, I would be leaving with such mixed emotion.

I've moved 17 times in 11 years and no move has been filled with more exhaustive emotions as this one and it's all I can do to stay focused on the tasks at hand... The majority of the moving is done, Bradley has passed with flying colours his testing for his new position, the end of the school year is upon us and in 22 days I will be able to sleep in my own bed with my best friend at my side once again...

I am grieving dreams of arts and ministry and the beautiful relationships with "my kids" (my students). I am terrified of the unknown. I am thrilled to be rid of the horrible gossip that comes with a small town full of people with not enough to do. I am excited to finally have the chance to live life with my husband after months of being apart. I am scared at the same time to fail miserably as his wife and best friend as we start a fresh in that rented out humble home that is exactly all we need.

Despite my under normal circumstances secure and confident person, I am human and fall privy to the untruths that life and brokenness have thrown our way. I've spent the past while speaking to "my kids" about this Wondrous Love of the God we serve. How many times have I said to them that just as God leads us away from my position teaching them, He has great plans that are not all about me.

They are watching, they see what is being said and how we are being treated. They are wise. Young but their eyes are not blind. They have been to me Gods Hands and Feet as they see the truth of who God has created Bradley and I to be. By His Grace and His grace alone.

They have loved us, worked hard to fulfil the dreams of keeping music and arts alive on the campus under my direction, and I know they are praying for God to bring them someone who is hopefully even more crazy passionate about them first and the program second than I am.

So tonight as I struggle with high emotions caused by stresses that I have no power over, I turn to "my" passage of Scripture... The one I have turned to for years when I need to be reminded of His great love for me...

I know who I have believed and as I prepare to join my husband I know we have waited, prayed and are following His leading with our heads high and our knees bent before the One who is Love!




Romans 8
(biblegateway.com NKJV)

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. ² For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. ³ For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, ⁴ that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. ⁵ For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. ⁶ For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. ⁷ Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. ⁸ So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

⁹ But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His. ¹⁰ And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. ¹¹ But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.

Sonship Through the Spirit

¹² Therefore, brethren, we are debtors—not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. ¹³ For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 

 ¹⁴ For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. ¹⁵ For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” ¹⁶ The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, ¹⁷ and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.

From Suffering to Glory

¹⁸ For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. ¹⁹ For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. ²⁰ For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; ²¹ because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. ²² For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. ²³ Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. ²⁴ For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.

²⁶ Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us^[b] with groanings which cannot be uttered. ²⁷ Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.

²⁸ And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. ²⁹ For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. ³⁰ Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.

God’s Everlasting Love

³¹ What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? 

³³ Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 

³⁴ Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. 

³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? ³⁶ As it is written:

“For Your sake we are killed all day long;
We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.”^[c]

³⁷ Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, ³⁹ nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Once upon a "Silent Night"...

Today is already December 3rd  13th now, which totally trampled my heartfelt intention of posting each day this month, something that inspires me to anticipate in a new way the birthday of our Savior.

The bad news is that this month of December (well, really the last week of November on) is the most ridiculous time of year for any musician or lover of the arts as there is SO much to fill our schedules.

If it's not teaching, it's my not-by-my-choice-soon-to-be-over cleaning job. If it's not that, it's rehearsals. If not rehearsals, it's extra rehearsals or last minute sectionals, or planning for final recitals or preparing for student juries or production planning or performances for the first production I am involved in with the THAA. And then it's more and more and more for the second production which is this coming was this past weekend for Prairie... did I mention rehearsals and more mopping of floors and additional preparations?

Once in a while, if my dear husband is so lucky, I will have time to make a meal or spot clean our own home. Thank you for being so patient with your crazy and passionate artist wife and even blessing me by doing the dishes once in a while :)

What can I say? I take pride in what I do. I may be poor in monetary gain for my work but goodness knows that for an artist, it's so much more.

If I wanted to make my millions I would have continued down my initial thoughts of a career choice in the medical field. Thank God I couldn't manage to grasp the concepts of Math no matter how many days a week I went in for help in high school. I never would have imagine then, how deeply in love I would fall with my music and teaching.

I don't wave my hands in front of all 27 of them expecting perfection. 95% of them don't even read music. And yet, when it's all sung and lights come back on bright and they say to me "Teacher, I messed up here and there"... I can honestly say, "I didn't even hear it" because the excitement on their faces and the glorious efforts that they have put forth to learn what they have been gifted to do are more important to me than being the best.

And this year, Prairies 69th Annual Christmas Music Night titled "Silent Night", that those three and I talked about and planned as they learn under my often failing wing, was the most beautiful and perfect program that they could have given me. I am humbled and inspired. 

Thank you to my dear students who love to learn and inspire me to create! Merry Christmas and enjoy your time off because January is going to be CRAZY with LOTS of new music :)

PBI Choir 2012/2013. A new generation posed on the foundation of the old Prairie Tabernacle. 

With a greatful heart...

*** Oops, forgot to publish this post :) 

This weekend people all over this country I call home celebrated "Thanks Giving Day". Many spent hours in a kitchen basting turkeys and hams, peeling piles of potatoes, seasoning the perfect pies...

Deep dish pumpkin pie... 

I am included in this percentage of citizens. I love spending my days in the kitchen, music invading the small space of our home.  Puttering around kneading and chopping,  stirring and baking, dropping stuff and putting those things clean away... Mostly, I know how the 10 hours put in will make satisfied those hungry tummies and this opportunity to create a space for fellowship is needed for those beautiful guests who came.

Bradley's favourite... My first time making real homemade scalloped potatoes... mmmmm!

 

In this season that we celebrate the bounty of provision that our good Lord has bestowed on us I am weary and strained and sick with a cold to top it off. My head says I should feel guilty about admitting this but it's just the honest truth.

Truth... now that is something I am thankful for. Truth is not always easy but in it we find much freedom.

The truth about ones self is rarely something we enjoy acknowledging because the truth is, we are naturally pretty horrible beings. When we were created, He said we were "Very Good"... we weren't created to live a life filled with sin but rather we must endure it and learn to work through it because of a decision to succumb to it in that first generation so very long ago.

This day, after a day of celebrating friendships, family, provisions, and ultimately our Provider, I long to be grateful. I am grateful.

Grateful to know Him who is the Truth personally. Grateful to know that that "this too shall pass", this season of drought which has formed deep crevices in my spirit. I am grateful to know that the Source of living water does not run dry and continues to nourish my roots even though the levels are lower than my visible eye can see.

With a grateful heart, I do know that He cares and He chooses to bless in ways we may never know. So yes, on this Thanksgiving Day I do give thanks with a broken, tired and yet eternally grateful heart to the One who knows and loves us exactly where we are!

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;

    his love endures forever.  

Psalm 107:1

Summer Fun... Family Shot's

This summer I had a blast being able to sneak away to visit my family on Vancouver Island... Oh water and trees how I miss thee!

Soaking wet at swimming lessons

Smiling nice for Tante Jess in the flower gardens by the pool

Sleep over movie night in the living room with Oma 

 

 

Fun in the sun at the beach

Me and my beautiful Mama

 

My little Lyla...

Waaaaaaaaaay Up!

Seeeee Lyla, Uncle Bill isn't so bad...

 

Entertaining cousins

 

 

 

 

Summer Fun... prt. 2

***If anyone can tell me how to change the rotation of a photo. When I upload some photo's, they change thier orientation from what is saved on my computer :S



"Lobsta" for the first time.

 

   


Birthday Celebrations




Final photo as we say goodbye to a very special gal.



Graduation Celebrations!



Bradley's giving a speach at his "suprise" graduation party :)



And once again I am facing technical difficulties and am unable to upload photo's... will continue later...

Summer Fun... prt 1

This summer has not always been easy as many tears have flowed. however the Lord does know our needs. And in particular our need for fun, beauty, family, celebrations, laughter, memories both old and new, and the list goes on. He has blessed us with much to be grateful for.

 

 Here is a snapshot of our Summer Fun!

 

 

Three Hills Cruise Night



Three Hills Cruise Night

 

Bradley's Grandparents homestead which we visited this summer while attending the family reunion.

 

Bradley's Grandparents homestead



Bradley's Grandparents homestead



Where loved ones have been laid

 

Alberta's beautiful country side





It looks like I am having some difficulty uploading anymore pics to this post so I will have to seperate the Summer Fun photo's into a couple of different posts.
Stay tuned...

 

 

70 years young...

Today we celebrate with the gift of life that God has given these past 70 years. We thank God for you with every ounce of our being. I know we haven't always seen eye to eye and I am learning to look for the crinkle that barely shows in the corner of yours that glisten just to be sure you're not just pulling my leg.

You are a funny one and I have loved learning to laugh with you and your beloved and the one who is mine.

You are a compassionate one and I have so appreciated your open arms when those of an earthly father is what I've needed most.

You are a strong one who has sought to discern when to put your foot down because you see things different from him and I and we love you for your desire to see the best for us.

You are a gracious one who has upheld us even if we have decided against your personal preference because you love your children more that causing unneccessisary strife.

You are a forgiving one that I've seen open doors wide for the prodigal who ever so slowly came home.

You are a humble one who has come to me, to him, to us, when the Lord has laid it on your heart to make it right.

You are an example. Not of what a perfect man is because that does not exist. You exemplify rather  a man who is imperfect, broken and saved by Grace. You are an example of someone who works hard, loves deeply and seeks Him.

We thank God for you today and pray for many more years in this life to enjoy with you. And we trust that as you continue to seek after Him that the desires of you heart which alinge with Him would be granted to you.

God bless you and keep you in the palm of His mighty hand.

Captured...

We sat there in the park waiting. It was a town I've never been to while my beloveds heart was turning over memories both good and bad. It's amazing how sitting still in one place can create such waves of emotion.

We waited for them. Those two beautiful faces that I have never seen except through photo's and he has spent years agonising from not seeing them in so long. I've heard their voices.  Laughed ridiculously with them, shed tears on the phone with them, heard them play their instruments for us, read to us, and talk with us. This moment however, would be the most precious moment in our relationship.

In that moment, we saw them peaking from behind the seats. We saw them waiting patiently to be freed from their vehicle. They tentatively walked along side before being given a nod which led to the moment he stood while they ran furiously into his arms calling his name, "DADDY!".

I stood back, hesitantly as they embraced. Four little arms wrapped up his his as the tears flowed from precious eyes. He tried to be brave, to hold back, but I knew his heart. Men are men when they allow their emotions to show they are human and I am so proud of him for the being the man He has called
him to be!

It wasn't too long before he, the one who I can only imagine is a spitting image of what his daddy was and is in actions and personality, excitedly began to show him his colouring book as they seated themselves at the dark wooden pick-nick table.

She stayed standing. Peering at me from behind the strong shoulders of her Daddy. I knew that it was okay to then step into their moment. To be introduced into our future moments at that time.

I walked toward her as she flung her arms open and embraced me. We had waited a long time and I will never forget how she held me like she never wanted to let go. I will never forget the beautiful tears that she shed. I will never forget the small voice asking his Daddy, "Is that Jessica?" right before being nearly knocked over as her and I were grabbed from the side. I will never forget that first embrace of those two who in spite of the distance are a part of Us.

I will forever be captured by this moment!

Isaiah 57:18-19

“I have seen his ways, but I will heal him;
I will lead him and restore comfort to him and to his mourners,
¹⁹ Creating the praise of the lips.
Peace, peace to him who is far and to him who is near,”
Says the Lord, “and I will heal him.”