Growing up fast...

Last week, after only 16 days of living with my beloved again, I got up tired, loaded my bags into our truck with a little feeling of wishing I didn't have to and I sat holding hands with him as he drove me to the airport... Of course everything that could go wrong other than the plane plummeting to the ground did, but as I ponder the outcome... I am amazed yet again at the faithfulness of my God.

If it wasn't for those planes being delayed and over booked, I wouldn't have had the chance to meet for a quick coffee date with my beautifully grown niece who I haven't seen in 2 and a half years...

It's been far to long since I've held her in my arms and looked her in the eye as we discuss the things that challenge our hearts. These conversations have changed over the years but I know that our relationship will always hold a special place in my heart! That girl who is no longer a girl but a grown woman with dreams and goals and a BOY... okay, a man... will always bring a smile to my lips when I think of her.

You see, I care for these lil ones who have grown and are growing so fast. Courtney, J..., Shawna, Austin, Hailey, Aydin, ..., Tyson, Naomi, ..., Koen, Ben, Caleb, ..., Rehannah, Tanaya, Mistii, Bella, Issak, Lyla, ... and Oliver. And I pray for the ones who may come still...

I cherish those memories of the ones I was able to hold in one arm cooing and singing and rocking them through tears and falling asleep with them on comfy couches and chairs.

I will never forget those late night sleepovers and questions about who that man Jesus was in that Good Book I read.

The popcorn movie nights,
     the too much junk food,
         the laughs in the snow piled too deep,
              running on the shores getting wet from the waters,
                   Lego's and dolly's and songs and dancing and Christmas mornings with way to many sugar cookies...
not to mention the story after story after story and then just one more before good nights...

I am honored with those deep life concerns shared and young arms giving the best hugs and kisses galore. I long for the days between to go quickly and yet want so badly for them to stay little so they fit perfectly in my arms. I wish for those who are far away and the ones that I've yet to meet to be nearer so I can know by the look in their eyes the simple truths that God is revealing to them in their youth.

The time goes fast.

The growing up it seems even faster.

I miss my beloved but I am SO incredibly thankful for his desire to see me in right relationship with those I love and that he honors my desire to be here to spend time watching them grow.

From my eldest Courtney who is now over 2 decades young who enjoys sipping coffee with her crazy auntie all the way down to my sweet young Oliver a little more than 2 months old that I get to comfort and snuggle as his big sister goes crazy dancing and twirling for me... I am so thankful for these beautiful individuals that are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Auntie loves you, all of you, with all her heart and I pray that you might also some day come to know the love of your Heavenly Father that is never changing...

 

Matthew 7 

^7 "Ask, and it will be given to you;
seek, and you will find;
knock, and it will be opened to you.
⁸ For everyone who asks receives,
and he who seeks finds,
and to him who knocks it will be opened.

⁹ Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone?¹⁰ Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? ¹¹ If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him! ¹² “In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

Psalm 103 

Bless the Lord, O my soul,

And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
² Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;
³ Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;
⁴ Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
⁵ Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

⁶ The Lord performs righteous deeds
And judgments for all who are oppressed.
⁷ He made known His ways to Moses,
His acts to the sons of Israel.
⁸ The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.
⁹ He will not always strive with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever.
¹⁰ He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him.
¹² As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
¹³ Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
¹⁴ For He Himself knows our frame;
He is mindful that we are but dust.

¹⁵ As for man, his days are like grass;
As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.
¹⁶ When the wind has passed over it, it is no more,
And its place acknowledges it no longer.
¹⁷ But the lovingkindness of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him,
And His righteousness to children’s children,
¹⁸ To those who keep His covenant
And remember His precepts to do them.

 

  

 

When the sun shines...

It's easy to smile when the sun shines... Feel the joy that the brightness brings to a persons heart. 

It's rays cast through that dusty window in our kitchen. As I clean this floor on my hands and knees, when I would rather bask like a cat in the warmth of those rays, I think of you and smile... Your not the mother that was given to me by birth but the one who was my beloveds first and became mine when we said "I do". 

I am thankful for you, you know? We both are. 

We love you, you know? Love that will never end. 

You have sacrificed much in the past years that I have known you and I can imagine in the years before that there was much given and taken away from the only One who has that authority. I have seen your desire change these past months, pure and honest and raw desire, to "Be Still"... how long has that been the phrase He has given you? As long as I can remember. Amazing to me that it is the same verse the Lord gave to me all those years ago when He began to tear down the walls of my heart. 

I know this command He has given you has not easy for you; you who is gifted with a true mothers heart, a heart that longs to take pain away when we both know full well God has to be the healer in some circumstances. There are just times when we have to let go and I am so thankful for your example as you learn and grow even more into a strong woman after Gods own heart. An example for all of us young women who have been placed into your path. 

I am thankful you don't walk perfectly you know, that you are realizing the freedom of not having to have every strand in place... That's the side of you and your beloved that we love best. To know that there is hope for us, that we don't have to have life together all the time. That it's okay to be messy and love imperfectly and allow ourselves to feel Gods grace in spite being undeserving... 

We can't be with you today to celebrate with you but we are thinking of you today. Praying that in this next year, the Lord would continue to bless you with knowing Him better and the beautiful woman you are by His grace. We pray that you might continue to let Him work as you present yourself to His will for your life. You have much to give, He knows that, we know that, and we look forward to seeing how He is going to move in and through you! May you be blessed with the Joy that He longs to restore to your spirit this year! 

Happy Birthday Mom (Marion)...

Dear Mama...

There are times in life when I am far away from the only one on this earth who truly can say she loved me from the beginning of my being... The one who gave so much of herself to give life to us four. In those times God gives us surrogates in a way. Mother figures that come in various forms.

I am so grateful for my Mama but also for these other women in my life.  All women who have loved me, challenged me, listened to me, laughed with me, cried for me, sought after God along side of me... Each holds her own portion of this heart I've been given and as I reflect today on their examples I know I am blessed to have the love of each one and to have the opportunity to love in return.

To the one who gave of herself to give life to me...


I love you Mom...

I am so thankful for you in my life and couldn't ask for a better example of generous love than that which you show me! Your strength is an inspiration and although I recognise that you are down on yourself more often than not, your courage to do right by your flesh and blood is more than any child could desire.

Mom, we've walked some very hard roads together. Ones where we disagreed. Ones where I hurt you and you hurt me. You know what though, I am thankful because of the beautiful scenes that followed these hard times. Some trails shorter than others but you've been there. I couldn't ask for more than for you to just have been there.

I couldn't be more proud than to watch you allow the Holy Spirit do His work in your life as you seek after His will for you and for us, your forever babes. Thank you for being God's vessel in our lives and for teaching us of His love as best you could, in the ways you understood. Thank you for being gracious even when this cheeky young woman was anything but. Thank you for being you and only you!!! I wouldn't change a thing!

In the words of my favourite story by Robert Munsch...


"I'll love you forever,

       I'll like you for always,

           As long as I'm living my mommy you'll be."     

Proverbs 31

 

Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
²⁶ She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
²⁷ She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children rise up and call her blessed   

                                                                      

Transitions...

It's been a while eh? I had every intention of meeting with you here in this space much more often but lets face it, life gets in the way when big times of transition are met. Seasons change and this past one has been terribly busy with a couple ounces of hard.

The most recent transition: I LIVE WITH MY HUSBAND AGAIN! Praise God that we still like each other after being apart for the past 3.5 months. Easy transition, not really. Good transition, more good than easy. Needed, is that even a question?

It's been a long, hard wait.

The transitions leading up to being in my new home with my beloved have been some of the most rewarding and yet ferociously difficult ones. Some of the things I've spent the past 3.5 months working on:

• pouring everything I have into "my kids", aka my students.
• planning and preparing all kinds of music, presentations and organising "extensions" with the choir who worked so hard to accomplish the incredibly lofty goals I set before them.
• humbling myself to take up work at my college work place Subway.
• started a new direct sales business with Lia Sophia Jewelry www.liasophia.ca/jessicagreene
• working through how to deal with what I am now confident was a vision from the Lord that came to me in a dream 8 years ago in my Junior year at Prairie - the second of three dreams that came three nights in a row. Another topic for another day, maybe.
• trying to say goodbye to as many loved ones in the lower areas of AB that I could before making the journey north.
• enjoying as many "last time" moments.
• slowly but surely packed the meagre belongings of the studio that had become such a part of Gods faithfulness in my life, growth in the creativity and passion He has given me and space that housed beautiful strength as .I journeyed life with so many young people.

The transitions now:

• Living with a boy again with more laundry than usual and having to deal with my blanket thief.
• Getting used to the ridiculous that my dear husband works... I mean really ridiculous! Including the multiple phone calls through out the night from being on call 24/7.
• Learning my where abouts in this new to me city - I've only got lost once :)
• Unpacking, sorting, repacking, moving, adjusting, readjusting, filing, and repeat as many times as needed to get all our stuff figured out. This will be a while yet.
• Cooking every day, multiple times a day in fact.
• Playing my well loved electric piano with rattling and failing speakers instead of my beautiful baby grand that has been my blessing to care for over the past almost 5 years.
• Trying to figure out routine amid trying to get my DS Lia Sophia business underway when I know 2 people in town. I'm getting pretty good at just starting conversations with ladies in random stores, banks, and at the dance adjudication that Bradley's little cousin was participating in. We'll see if anything comes of said conversations.
• Applying for part time work until said DS business takes off.
• Church "hunting", so to say, and trying to determine what the Lord would have for us here.

So needless to say, a lot has been going on and I have a lot to think through in my own heart as we settle here in our home. Some of those thoughts may end up here but I am excited to look forward to what the days ahead will hold.

For now, after only 3 hours of sleep last night and 13 hour shift today, my dear husband is passed out on the couch and I have a kitchen to clean before I can get to sleep myself for a while before the ringing of that phone begins...

Good night all...

Philipians 3

 

¹² Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. ¹³ Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, ¹⁴ I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

¹⁵ Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you. ¹⁶ Nevertheless, to the degree that we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us be of the same mind.

 

¹⁷ Brethren, join in following my example, and note those who so walk, as you have us for a pattern.¹⁸ For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ:
¹⁹ whose end is destruction, whose god is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame—who set their mind on earthly things.

 

  ²⁰ For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, ²¹ who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself.