Summer Fun... Family Shot's

This summer I had a blast being able to sneak away to visit my family on Vancouver Island... Oh water and trees how I miss thee!

Soaking wet at swimming lessons

Smiling nice for Tante Jess in the flower gardens by the pool

Sleep over movie night in the living room with Oma 

 

 

Fun in the sun at the beach

Me and my beautiful Mama

 

My little Lyla...

Waaaaaaaaaay Up!

Seeeee Lyla, Uncle Bill isn't so bad...

 

Entertaining cousins

 

 

 

 

When I'm human...

These days I am often found in a position where I am asked to stay silent... For various reasons. Students confide in that tranquil space where we meet to learn about their God given instrument or that precious one who carried me in her needs someone to confide in as she travels this life alone or situations that have gotten WAY out of hand are best left up to Him who works on our behalf.

To be honest, I am so sick of gossip and the broken trust that comes with it that I am trying very hard to learn what it means to hide words shared with me in my heart.

He see's those words shared when I do this.

That is all that matters.

But what happens when those words are about you and the one you have pledged your life to?

What about when the words I want to say are simply the truth and they are left dying inside because it's "better that way"?
 
I don't have the answer's.

I don't have the patience.

I don't want to fight a battle that is not my own anymore.

I don't want to care any more.

Is it so much to ask for, a simple phone call to say I made a mistake, I'm sorry? or I did it in spite but I'm sorry? or I didn't think about the consequence and I am sorry? or any of the other combinations that we could come up with for the endless ways we humans find to hurt one another?

I don't know about the rest of the world but I know when I have been informed, whether by the Holy Spirit or another human being, that I have hurt someone whether intentionally or honest ignorance I cannot sleep. My work suffers, my relationships suffer, everything suffers until I make that humiliated visit to say "I am so sorry I hurt you". No excuses.

The reality is... I am human.

I read Psalms like 3 and 4 and 5 and 6 over and over and I have to guard myself from lingering on the words that state "All my enemies will be ashamed and greatly dismayed..." (Psalm 6:10) because the humanity that surfaces on days like today cause my first reaction to say "thank you Lord" with wrong motivation. If you claim you have never done this very thing then you simply have categorised yourself as a hypocrite because in  one way, shape or form, we have all longed for vengeance.

The other reality it... they are human too.

I know I am not in a position to judge where people are at and honestly it is not a position I want to have. But I can't help myself as I plead for peace just as David did, How long oh Lord?

I re-read over and over the blessings within passages such as those mentioned and push my heart to focus internally where He has His work cut out.


"But let all who take refuge in You be glad,
Let them ever sing for joy;
And may You shelter them,
That those who love Your name may exult in You.
¹² For it is You who blesses the righteous man, O Lord,
You surround him with favor as with a shield."
Psalm 5:11, 12


I want peace in my life - peace that passes all understanding - peace that can only come from Him. Sometimes that peace comes only when we do what we can to make right of situations before we let those we love be.

I know the plans He has for us are not to harm and I have to remind myself of the promises He has made and release the rest into His care in order live in the fullness of forgiveness and grace.




But Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in God’s place? ²⁰ As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. ²¹ So therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.
Genesis 50:19-21

Summer Fun... Prt 3

Gardening with my Mum-In-Love

My window box herb garden

Beautiful hands of friendship! We are so proud of you Tania!

A glorious night of fresh mountain air to celebrate a dear friends accomplishments

Rocky Mountains of Banff, AB

Enjoying the cool waters after an afternoon hike

Still...

I signed my name and changed it to his because I knew He spun the web of my life. I loved him and love him even more. Even still, so much has been struggle in the life of our marriage thus far. Much of our frustrations stirred from brokenness that is out of our hands. When you combine that with each of our various triggers from our pasts, it hasn't always been a good concoction.

I know marriage is hard. I've seen it fail time and time again. What I didn't see coming was the rapid fire from others pain that was to take place in the months following the words "I Do".

I have found myself exhausted in my sleeping hours this past year, too exhausted to sleep most nights. Those nights I do succumb restlessly, I find myself waking by His prompting to bath loved ones in prayer even though I have grown weary in trying to discern how to pray.

My heart has bled as trust has been broken by friends who really weren't. That's how I feel although my mind knows they are only flesh like me. Trust has been destroyed, words have been mis-interpreted, pain has been caused by my lips and theirs that I can never be taken back. Prayerfully we all can learn to stop picking the scab and allow the Balm of Gilead to do what He longs to fulfil for us.

If you asked me three years ago where I saw myself, it was anywhere but here. This tiny town is not what I refer to as here in order to be clear. It's in this state of perpetual longing for the brokenness to go away - "...in Jesus name it has no power over you, over me, over us..." I cry over and over again...  

And yet, it remains... it still remains and I don't understand.

It has ruled hearts for generations and will continue to until the day its decided that His grace truly is enough to choose to be still and put His desire for myself and those I love ahead of my own need to run, sit, wait, hide, ignore, pretend, and all the other words that come to mind that we do instead of Trust...

I can't do anything about anyone except my own responses. B and I have no options to be anyone except the God fearing individuals that we are so imperfect at.

These words He has put in my heart, not scripture, but from Him none the less...

restless
the one who lays there in the dark
the soft breathing of loved ones near
it doesn't mask the deafening weeping that brews in her heart

broken
the one on a mission in the morning light
the stillness of the view untouched
it is not enough to silence the turmoil consuming her mind

how do you hang on when you can't feel anymore

the arrogance that causes such pain has created new to fall victim

when is it going to be enough

Still
in the quiet
the storm rages on

Still
in the storm
the Calm will reside

Psalm 46

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

 

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.

Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

 

Come and see what the Lord has done, the desolation's he has brought on the earth.

He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth.

He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

 

The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Summer Fun... prt. 2

***If anyone can tell me how to change the rotation of a photo. When I upload some photo's, they change thier orientation from what is saved on my computer :S



"Lobsta" for the first time.

 

   


Birthday Celebrations




Final photo as we say goodbye to a very special gal.



Graduation Celebrations!



Bradley's giving a speach at his "suprise" graduation party :)



And once again I am facing technical difficulties and am unable to upload photo's... will continue later...

Summer Fun... prt 1

This summer has not always been easy as many tears have flowed. however the Lord does know our needs. And in particular our need for fun, beauty, family, celebrations, laughter, memories both old and new, and the list goes on. He has blessed us with much to be grateful for.

 

 Here is a snapshot of our Summer Fun!

 

 

Three Hills Cruise Night



Three Hills Cruise Night

 

Bradley's Grandparents homestead which we visited this summer while attending the family reunion.

 

Bradley's Grandparents homestead



Bradley's Grandparents homestead



Where loved ones have been laid

 

Alberta's beautiful country side





It looks like I am having some difficulty uploading anymore pics to this post so I will have to seperate the Summer Fun photo's into a couple of different posts.
Stay tuned...

 

 

70 years young...

Today we celebrate with the gift of life that God has given these past 70 years. We thank God for you with every ounce of our being. I know we haven't always seen eye to eye and I am learning to look for the crinkle that barely shows in the corner of yours that glisten just to be sure you're not just pulling my leg.

You are a funny one and I have loved learning to laugh with you and your beloved and the one who is mine.

You are a compassionate one and I have so appreciated your open arms when those of an earthly father is what I've needed most.

You are a strong one who has sought to discern when to put your foot down because you see things different from him and I and we love you for your desire to see the best for us.

You are a gracious one who has upheld us even if we have decided against your personal preference because you love your children more that causing unneccessisary strife.

You are a forgiving one that I've seen open doors wide for the prodigal who ever so slowly came home.

You are a humble one who has come to me, to him, to us, when the Lord has laid it on your heart to make it right.

You are an example. Not of what a perfect man is because that does not exist. You exemplify rather  a man who is imperfect, broken and saved by Grace. You are an example of someone who works hard, loves deeply and seeks Him.

We thank God for you today and pray for many more years in this life to enjoy with you. And we trust that as you continue to seek after Him that the desires of you heart which alinge with Him would be granted to you.

God bless you and keep you in the palm of His mighty hand.